Derik Pell is a geek with passable social skills and a penchant for archaic words in dead languages. He has a habit of invading pantries and throwing together random food stuff to make “dinner”. His actions have caused The Food Network to threaten to pull their programming in his cable market, but his dinner guests often sing his praises, much like victims of Stockholm Syndrome. His religion hearkens back to a simpler time, when men painted themselves with mud and beat the ground with sticks; anthropologists drink heavily in his presence. Political scientists have labelled him a Yellow Dog Machiavellian, although there are still entire conferences devoted to defining exactly what that means. He rides motorcycles dressed all in leather, smoking a cigar and giggling like a Victorian school girl. As a night owl with a day job, he’s spent too many hours trying to bend computers to his will, with only nominal success. He writes because the world needs it! And his girlfriend told him to.